The blog of Chicago-based freelance writer David Johnsen.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
A Mitch Hedberg Moment
I was off my diet yesterday (more often than not lately, but that's a topic for another time). I forgot to eat breakfast at home, so I stopped for a box of Munchkins at Dunkin Donuts. They have fewer calories since they're smaller, right?

Anyway, the man at the counter (server? cashier? donut wrangler?) filled up my box (10 cinnamon powdered and 15 chocolate glazed, if you must know), rang up the total, took my cash, gave me change, and said, "Have a good day, sir." I wished him the same, but before I could turn around and walk out, he asked, "Would you like a receipt, sir?"

In his comedy routines, Mitch Hedberg used to say
I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut - I'll just give you money and you give me the donut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend? "Don’t even act like I didn't buy a donut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under 'D', for donut."
I had to chuckle as I said, "No, thanks." The man is gone, but the laughs go on. Rest in peace, Mitch.


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