The Government Is Experimenting On Me
I've been gassed:

Calling it the most effective tool to date in the War on Terror, the Pentagon announced Monday that it had developed a new chemical weapon called "ennui gas," a nerve agent that overwhelms its victims with sudden philosophical distress over the meaningless tedium of human life and a sinking sense that everything they have ever accomplished ultimately amounts to dust... Symptoms include uncontrollable sighing, repeated utterances of the phrase "What's the use?" a confusion and bitterness regarding one's place in the universe, and an increased proclivity to listen to Lou Reed records.

At least now I have an excuse. And I do have a lot of Lou Reed* records.


* Speaking of Lou, no one told me he got hitched again last month.

Labels: drugs, jokes

- posted by David Johnsen @ 2:52 PM