Get a Life!
Literally:

SYDNEY, Australia - A painful breakup with his wife has prompted a man to put his entire life -- his house, his car, his job, even his friends -- up for sale online in an effort to start over. Ian Usher, a British immigrant to Australia, said Tuesday he would auction everything he owns and more on eBay starting June 22. "On the day it's all sold and settled, I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all," Usher says on his Web site. Up for bid is Usher's three bedroom house in the western city of Perth and everything inside it, his car, motorcycle, jet ski and parachuting gear. Usher says he is also selling a one-time introduction to his friends and a trial run at his job -- a plan endorsed by his friends and his employer.

If nothing else, Usher, 44, has set a new record for most extreme midlife crisis.

Labels: weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 8:37 PM 0 comments

 
Those Darn Writers!
Los Angeles is having trouble building a bicycle path thanks to opposition from NBC Universal:

One bike advocate said Universal executives told him they feared that people would use the path to lob unsolicited screenplays onto the studio's nearby production lot -- something that apparently happens at other spots when a Universal film scores big at the box office.

Well, at least I've never heard that excuse before.

Labels: bicycling, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 4:35 PM 0 comments

 
Just in Time for Christmas: Wacky Christians
This story from Dallas is just too strange:

Campaign linking Bible, I-35 takes on sin with prayer marathon

From Duluth, Minn., to Laredo, Texas, houses of prayer are opening their doors around the clock to welcome those who have taken up the call to Light the Highway, a movement started by international ministry leader Cindy Jacobs. The idea for the Light the Highway movement began two years ago with Mrs. Jacobs – a self-proclaimed charismatic prophet and founder of the evangelical ministry General International, based in Red Oak. Mrs. Jacobs believes there's a correlation between Interstate 35 and the Bible verse Isaiah 35:8 (New International Version):

"And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it."

As a result, there's a 35-day prayer marathon going on now that is intended to shine light on vice and sin – such as pornography, abortion, drug abuse, government corruption and workplace injustices – that participants believe are corrupting today's society, said Ryan Hennesy, the project's coordinator.

Actually, this story is a few weeks old; the marathon ended December 1. A few thoughts:

• If their goal is to get "wicked fools" off the highway, I guess I can support that. Can they pray over the Kennedy Expressway here in Chicago next?
• It's a good thing we have these people "to shine light on vice and sin." Otherwise, we'd never be able to find it when we need it.
• Notice that Mrs. Jacobs is a "self-proclaimed charismatic prophet." Heck, if that's all it takes, then I declare myself a prophet, too!
• Could Mrs. Jacobs have chosen a less descriptive name for her ministry than General International? It sounds like something out of a comic book, a company whose secret, sinister plan is to take over the world... Oh, now I get it.
• I wonder if Mrs. Jacobs ever considered that there could be a correlation between Isaiah 35:8 and Interstate 8 instead of Interstate 35. Repent, San Diego!

Many Protestants criticize the Roman Catholic Church for insisting on certain interpretations of Bible scripture. I think Mrs. Jacobs is a good example of why the Vatican believes such guidance is necessary.

UPDATE 12/23/2007 - Here is another story from the northern end of the "Holy Highway":

Many believers are convinced that the collapse of the bridge on Interstate 35W was a sign from God that more prayer is needed across the nation.

Of course, the bridge collapse was a sign from above. It was God's way of telling us the bridge was structurally deficient! I love the way people turn any old event into "prophesy" and use it to further their objectives. This article reminded me of something I read in The Onion's year-end issue last week: "Nation's Crumbling Infrastructure Probably Some Sort Of Metaphor."

Roadgeek trivia: What makes I-35 different from any other interstate? Answer posted in first comment.

Labels: highways, religion, Texas, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 4:51 PM 1 comments

 
Smart Kid

DELAND, Fla. -- An 8-year-old DeLand girl reported missing was found by police riding her bike as fast as she could to leave the state of Florida, fearing a massive Hurricane Dean was on its way.

The girl's family had just moved to Florida from Columbus, Ohio. She's a smart girl; I wouldn't want to live in Florida either.

Labels: bicycling, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 1:56 PM 0 comments

 
News Items

• Shortly after Macy's on State Street closed last night, a man plummeted from the eighth floor balcony to his death. Suicide is suspected but not certain. Personally, I wouldn't "off" myself that way because I just don't like the feeling of falling. But if I did, I think that store would be a pretty dramatic place to do it. Check out the first photo on this page.
• If the first story didn't make you too acrophobic, check out this video of window washers at the John Hancock Center, part of the Tribune's "Unauthorized Access" series.
• A cat in a Rhode Island nursing home has a knack for determining when someone is about to die. His arrival usually means the patient has less than four hours until death. Having lived with cats against my will for the past nine years, the last thing I would want is a creepy "Kitty of Death" coming in to lie with me in my final hours. Can't I have a dog instead?
• In a story near and dear to my heart, San Francisco's taxi commission decided not to retire the cab number 666. It's great to have a joker running the union:

  "How dare you take Lucifer's number away?" said Thomas George-Williams, cab drivers union chief, who sported red horns.

  While I was in school, I worked at JC Penney for a few years. My associate number was 666. How did I get it? My mom worked in the personnel department!

Labels: Chicago, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 1:58 PM 0 comments

 
How Was Your Valentine's Day?
I'll bet it was better than this Arizona man's:

Robert McDaniel, 43... says he met 24-year-old Tiffany Sutton about a month ago and the two got together on Valentine's Day. While undressing, she asked if he was interested in "kinky" sex and being tied up. McDaniel says he agreed and moments later, Sutton pulled out three knives with skulls on them and began slashing him... McDaniel paints a horrific picture of bleeding from his back, arms, stomach and thigh while being chased by Sutton, who was armed with a pickaxe. Minutes later, McDaniel says he passed out. "I came to a few seconds later in the fetal position on the floor and she was behind me drinking my blood, even though I continued to try and get up again," he said. "I would walk and pass out, and when I would wake up, she would be drinking these wounds from my back."

Now I'm thankful for all the Valentine's Days I spent alone!

Labels: weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 3:30 PM 0 comments

 
Bastard of the Day
There are bastards, and then there are sick bastards. Ronald Kuch of Saginaw, MI is a prime example of the latter. He was arrested last Friday for having sex with a dog. A dead dog. On the street. Within view of a day care center:

Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier. Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.

They caught him, obviously. And yes, the dog had been dead for several days. But wait, it gets even worse. It was his girlfriend's dog. There's a breakup story you don't want to hear. "But you and Ron were such a cute couple. What happened?"

I cannot begin to comprehend what would possess a man to do such a thing. That's just wrong on so many levels. Why on Friday? Did something about the decaying animal make it more apppealing to Kuch after a few days had passed? What about the children? There's a law (at least in Illinois) that worsens penalties for drug crimes committed within so many feet of a school. Maybe there should be one for bestiality near a school or day care center. If you ask your congressman to pass such a law, he'll probably say, "But who would ever do that?" Well, now we know.

The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.

There's a thought. What if he's done this before? For the sake of the animal kingdom, I hope not. Just imagine the warm welcome he'll get in the state pen. "Whatcha in for?"

Labels: bastards, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 6:21 PM 1 comments

 
Proud Parents
The word "necrophilia" in a newspaper headline always gets my attention. And mention of our Cheesehead neighbors to the north piques my interest. After all, Eddie Gein and Jeff Dahmer have given Wisconsinners a notorious reputation for defiling corpses. The TV show Picket Fences, set in Wisconsin, had a memorable episode in which a man kept his deceased bride in the closet, occasionally dancing around the room with her to "Let Me Call You Sweetheart."

In "Charges Dropped in Wis. Necrophilia Case," we learn that Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia. If you're filing that info away for future reference, well, I don't want to know about it. But another part of the story begs for comment:

Twins Nicholas and Alexander Grunke, 20, and Dustin Radke, 20, were arrested after an alleged attempt to dig up the body of a 20-year-old woman who was killed Aug. 27 in a motorcycle crash.

Yes, twins. Can you imagine how proud their parents must be, having two children who want to have sex with a corpse? If that doesn't inspire thousands to get vasectomies, I don't know what will.

Labels: weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 6:54 PM 0 comments

 
Dueling Dwarfs
The Chicago Tribune reports that the dwarf wrestlers planning to appear tonight at Bar Chicago on Division Street should expect to be protested by a similarly sized activist named Gary Arnold. Arnold abhors the use of the word "midget" to promote these events because her perceives it as a slur. Plus he thinks the show is just about ridiculing people because of their size.

I think I'd have to side with the wrestlers. If they are able to turn their genetic situation into a way to make money, then that's great. All wrestling beyond college and the Olympics is about showmanship anyway. And that's synonymous with self-promotion and self-exploitation. If these guys aren't being forced against their will, who cares? It's not something I would watch, but I don't watch steroid-loaded, oversized, musclehead pro wrestlers either.

Likewise, if the wrestlers don't mind being called midgets, why should Arnold force his opinion about the word on them? If someone calls Arnold a midget, he can be offended. If someone calls the wrestlers midgets and they don't mind, why should Arnold have anything to do with it?

The big winner in this "controversy" is Bar Chicago. I had never even heard of the place, much less the "entertainment" they offer, before this story erupted in print and on local television.

Of course, the thought on every guy's mind upon reading this story is, What about midget porn? Again, that's not my thing, but this guy would be pretty upset if protesters like Arnold put a stop to it.

Labels: Chicago, weird news

- posted by David Johnsen @ 7:09 PM 0 comments