DJWriter

The Kick Is Up...

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:45:00 +0000

Former Chicago Bears kicker Bob Thomas now serves on the Illinois Supreme Court. He wrote the majority opinion ruling against our convicted former governor today:

George H. Ryan Sr. has clearly forfeited all of the pension benefits he earned from the General Assembly retirement system. As the victims of Ryan's crimes, the taxpayers of the state of Illinois are under no obligation to now fund his retirement.

...And it's good!

Too bad we can't send the Honorable Judge Thomas to the federal prison in Terre Haute, IN to personally deliver a serious kicking to Ryan's corrupt hindquarters.

CBS Déjà Vu

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:50:00 +0000

I watched The Mentalist last night, and it had virtually the same critical plot element as this week's episode of NCIS: Los Angeles!

***spoiler alert for both of the above shows***

Both CBS programs used a staged (faked) shooting to trick a suspect into acting/confessing. Did anyone else notice the similiarity?

You Couldn't Make This Stuff Up

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:44:00 +0000

On Tuesday, Illinois voters fed up with government corruption and criminality selected a hooker-slashing* pawnbroker to be the Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor.

A new ad campaign for the ExtenZe "male-enhancement supplement" will feature "Fox NFL Sunday" host Jimmy Johnson. I'm just waiting for Flomax to hire retired race car driver Dick Trickle.

* Since the charges were dropped, I guess I should say, "alleged hooker-slashing..."

Okay, So What About 2010?

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:44:00 +0000

I made a bunch of resolutions last year and managed to keep a few of them. One might think that success would be something to build upon, but I feel strangely unmotivated this year, uninterested in even setting goals, much less working toward them. Besides, if I really intend to die before I turn 40, making a year-long goal is pointless.

On the other hand, I thought Book Challenge 2009 was a worthwhile pursuit that ought to be repeated in some form. After all, I still have too many books. But then I recall that saying about Mt. Fuji, something like, "You are wise to climb Fuji once and a fool to climb it twice." If one makes a resolution and keeps it, why do it again? Keeping track of how many books I've acquired and finished is a good idea, but I'm not going to challenge myself to anything. I will still write the occasional book review here as I have for the past half a decade, but I won't review every book I finish anymore.

Any other resolutions? Like I said, I haven't felt too inspired lately. Maybe I'll take up heroin.

Bastard of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:19:00 +0000

It's primary election day here in Illinois, so I have plenty to choose from.*

However, I had an experience this morning that distracted me from my rage against politicians. I bought a concert ticket from Ticketmaster. How those bastards can charge $40 for a $25 ticket is beyond all logic and common sense. They are making a killing on consumers with no choice, and it will only get worse after their merger with Live Nation. Here's the breakdown of my costs:

Ticket Price $25.00 x 1
Facility Charge $1.00 x 1
Convenience Charge $8.60 x 1
Additional Taxes $0.43 x 1
Order Processing Fee $5.85
Standard Mail No Charge
TOTAL CHARGES $40.88

The biggest scam is at-home ticket printing. I refuse to pay them $2.50 extra so that I can use my paper and ink -- plus save them postage -- to do their job.

I know this isn't news -- Ticketmaster has sucked for a long, long, long time -- but it's fresh in my mind so they're getting the award. Runner-up is Blogger for dropping FTP support, which may kill off this blog. More about that later...

* I have finally become so disenchanted and discouraged regarding our political system that I may not even bother to vote. I don't trust anybody anymore, and whenever I vote for a candidate I believe in, he or she proceeds to disappoint me (the first year of Barack Obama stank like his initials). I used to be emphatic if not downright enthusiastic about voting, so this is a major turn for me.

What's Next for Apple?

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Apple announced a new product today:

Apple Inc. will sell the newly unveiled tablet-style iPad starting at $499, a price tag far below the $1,000 that some analysts were expecting. The iPad, which is larger in size but similar in design to Apple's popular iPhone, was billed by CEO Steve Jobs on Wednesday as "so much more intimate than a laptop and so much more capable than a smart phone."

First the iPod, then the iPad. I know what's next... the iPud. Whenever you're bored, just pull out your iPud. The iPud is "so much more intimate..." No word yet as to whether Steve Jobs will offer a hand.

Book Challenge 2009 Wrap-Up

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:42:00 +0000

Being a compulsive data compiler, I couldn't resist analyzing last year's book project.

Hardcover: 39
Paperback: 62

This is a bit of a surprise because I rarely buy new hardcover editions, but many of them were clearance items at Half Price Books that only cost me $1-2.

Books finished by month, based on the month reviewed (usually but not always the same as month read):

Jan: 10
Feb: 8
Mar: 6
Apr: 11
May: 9
Jun: 9
Jul: 8
Aug: 5
Sep: 9
Oct: 7
Nov: 8
Dec: 11 (including one book reviewed 01/01/2010)

Months don't really illustrate the distribution very well. Reviewing a bunch of books at the end of one month can make the next look bad, or reviewing several books at the beginning of a month can make the previous look bad. I should have recorded the day I finished each book, but it's not a big deal. From the above data, I also calculated that I finished 53 books in the first half of the year and 48 in the second half.

Books by subject/genre. I categorized each book myself, and many books are in multiple categories. For example, Harry Caray's book counts as a sports book and as a memoir.

Memoir: 22
Humor: 20
Music: 14
History: 9
Sports (football, pro cycling, baseball): 9
Political Science: 8
Current Events: 6
Trivia/Q&A: 6
Travel: 5
Science: 5
Weight Training: 5
Essays: 4
Writing: 4
Energy, Water, Chicago, Crime, Journalism, Pop Culture Criticism: 3 each
Movies, TV, Psychology, Language, Biography, Advertising, Transportation, Drugs: 2 each

I didn't realize I read so many memoirs. I got on a rock & roll kick for a while and read more about music than I would have predicted. I would have expected more history and less sports, too.

And finally, here are my ten favorite books read in 2009 (no particular order):

Collapse by Jared Diamond
In Life, First You Kick Ass by Mike Ditka
Return to Thunder Road by Alex Gabbard
Alice Cooper, Golf Monster by Alice Cooper with Keith and Kent Zimmerman
The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner
Dinosaur Training by Brooks Kubik
The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
When the Rivers Run Dry by Fred Pearce
I Bought It At Polk Bros. by Ann Paden
It Ain't Pretty But It's Real by John Drummond
Runners-up: Beyond Brawn by Stuart McRobert, The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB's by Steven Lee Beeber, Them by Jon Ronson, The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink, Travels With My Donkey by Tim Moore, Who Hates Whom by Bob Harris, News Junkie by Jason Leopold, Chuck Klosterman IV by Chuck Klosterman

What about 2010? That's a question for another blog entry...

2009 Resolutions in Review

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:38:00 +0000

This is the first time I've ever seriously attempted to make and keep New Years resolutions. Before I think about 2010, I should review 2009.

You all know about Book Challenge 2009: to finish more books than I acquire. I not only succeeded, but I also achieved a secondary goal of finishing at least 100 books in 2009. I haven't kept track before, but I'm sure that's more reading than I've ever done before. It was also a challenge to review every book on this blog. Acquiring only 96 books is a real achievement for me, too; I bought at least 200 in 2008. Of course, since I only came out ahead by five books, this effort has done little to reduce the clutter in our home, but at least I feel like I didn't make it worse in 2009.

Another resolution I made was to eat at least one salad every seven days. It sounds lame, but if you knew how badly I eat, you'd have to acknowledge that it is a big improvement. I probably ate less than five salads in 2008, but in 2009 I managed to eat 53. While I didn't strictly adhere to the "every seven days" regime, at least my average was better than once a week.

In May 2008, I started weight training regularly again, so I made several resolutions for 2009 based on training goals. My first objective was to deadlift my body weight, which I achieved in March. My next goal was to deadlift my entire weight set, which, to be honest, isn't a whole lot more than my body weight anyway. Although I managed to pull 300 lbs. from the floor in May, I repeatedly failed to lift 305. Since the entire weight set is 310 lbs., I didn't quite make it (I identified grip strength as my weak point in this exercise). Then I changed my workout program for summer and never got back into deadlifting. Another resolution was to do 20 push-ups in a set, which I did several times. I'm sure that sounds like nothing to you skinny bastards out there, but at my weight that's like doing 20 reps of a 180 lb. bench press. My final resolution was to commit to more frequent workouts, but I reconsidered that one. Increasing frequency can be counterproductive because the time between workouts is when muscles grow, and I had found a workout interval that worked well for me. But then I stopped lifting regularly in September, so I'll mark that one as a failure.

Almost as an afterthought, I made a resolution to lose 25 lbs., which would be fairly modest given my immense mass. My weight never varied more than five or six lbs. throughout the year. I never made much of an effort to eat less or exercise more, so I can't say I'm surprised or even particularly disappointed by this failure.

All in all, I guess I didn't do too badly. I succeeded at the resolutions where I made the greatest effort and commitment. Throwing away my gains from weight training by blowing it off for the last few months of the year was a big mistake, though. Why did I stop lifting when I was making progress and enjoying it? Who the Hell knows?

Just In Case...

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 07:35:00 +0000

Just in case I counted incorrectly somewhere along the way, I managed to finish a 101st book in the waning hours of 2009.

The Worst Noel: Hellish Holiday Tales - Like Christmas Sucks, this collection of essays had a lot of potential and failed to deliver. My biggest complaint is that it seems like half the essays are written by Jews, which is just weird for a book about Christmas experiences. The conflict between celebrating secular Christmas while religiously respecting Hanukkah is so obvious that including more than one or two takes on that angle is overkill. Alas, most of the Christian writers don't contribute memorable tales either. A few of the essays aren't bad, and most have an amusing moment or two, but this book is not really worth buying or even borrowing. I only paid $4 at Half Price Books, but I wish I had checked the Amazon.com reviews first. I'm glad the Ditka book was number 100, not this waste of time and paper.

Final tally: 101 books finished, 96 books acquired

Number 100!

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:48:00 +0000

I wanted my 100th book of Book Challenge 2009 to be something special. I thought about doing something out of character, like reading fiction for once (Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl). Many thick volumes called to me (such as James Loewen's Sundown Towns), but I only had a few days until the end of the year so those were out of the question. I didn't want to be reading feverishly at 11:30 PM on December 31, and I really didn't want to set myself up to fail by picking a long or complicated book.

I looked through the five two-foot stacks of books in our dining room, selecting half a dozen prospects. I could have read any of them, but none were particularly special. Then I went into our library and scanned eight more two-foot stacks of unread books (remember, I haven't been winning this battle by much, so I still have almost as many books to read as I had on January 1). I picked out a few that I've been meaning to read for a long time, but again, nothing set them apart. Then I saw a book I got for Christmas a few years ago... In Life, First You Kick Ass: Reflections on the 1985 Bears and Wisdom from Da Coach by Mike Ditka with Rick Telander.

I've written before about the 1985 Bears. I was 15, old enough to appreciate football but not yet jaded like I am now. Mike Ditka is my favorite coach of all time, in any sport. Ditka wore his heart on his sleeve and said what was on his mind (I don't like Lovie Smith because he's the anti-Ditka). He wasn't perfect, but he didn't try to hide that either.

Needless to say, I absolutely loved reading this book. Every page was a treat, reliving that fantastic season. I laughed and cried, turning page after page. Ditka has so many great stories, like about contract negotiations with George Halas. After Ditka had a spectacular rookie season (as a player), Halas actually tried to sign him for less money the following year! I found out a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff from the 1985 season, and I also was reminded of so many great moments. Any Bears fan should enjoy this book almost as much as I did.

Current tally: 100 books finished, 96 books acquired

Way Off the Road: Discovering the Peculiar Charms of Small Town America

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 08:07:00 +0000

This book by CBS correspondent Bill Geist is one of my favorites for the year. I've always been more interested in visiting small towns than big cities, especially since I already live in the best city in the world (but seriously, since I already live in a city, going on vacation means not going to other cities). Geist describes all sorts of unusual sights, people, events, and adventures in out-of-the-way towns. The chapters are short and Geist's writing is humorous and irreverent. One chapter decribes the famous Moonshine Store in south-central Illinois, which you all know from "Ride 45 - Moonshine Run" in Biking Illinois (by the way, my book came out before his). If I had to find a fault, I'd say the interludes about motels, car rental, restaurants, etc. come across as more forced than the regular chapters, kind of like a weak stand-up comedy routine abruptly spliced into a funny movie. Regardless, those bits weren't enough to diminish my enjoyment of Way Off the Road, which has the added appeal of being a fast read (which is important if you're trying to read 100 books in a year and it's late December!).

Current tally: 99 books finished, 93 books acquired

In the Home Stretch

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:18:00 +0000

With just a few days remaining in the year, Book Challenge 2009 is winding down. It took more discipline than you can imagine, but I have managed to build up a comfortable lead in books finished versus books acquired. My advantage is safe enough that I asked for several books for Christmas, plus I can enjoy the post-holiday sales. More incredibly, my goal of reading 100 books this year is also within reach. I have fallen behind in blogging about each book, however, so let's get caught up...

Blame It on the Rain: How the Weather Has Changed History by Laura Lee - This book describes more than 50 historical events impacted by meteorological incidents from biblical times (the story of Noah's ark is probably based on a real flood) to the present (global warming, of course). An amusing recurring chapter title is "Gee, It's Cold in Russia," which describes failed invasions of Russia by Charles XII in 1708, Napoleon in 1812, and Hitler in 1941, as well as the extension of the Crimean War in 1854. The tone is light and often humorous since the book is an entertaining survey rather than a history textbook. It is not comprehensive, but each chapter provides ample background info. Anyone with a casual interest in world history should enjoy Blame It on the Rain.

Christmas Sucks: What to Do When Fruitcake, Family, and Finding the Perfect Gift Make You Miserable by Joanne Kimes - I couldn't resist this book based on the title -- in fact, my mom put a copy in my Christmas stocking, not knowing that I already had it -- but it wasn't as funny as it could have been. For one thing, Kimes takes countless, unnecessary shots at men. There's plenty of humorous potential in holiday stress without conjuring a "lazy husband on the couch" stereotype. My wife enjoyed this book more than I did, although she agreed that the male-bashing was a bit much. As a humorist, Kimes is only so-so. I could have written a similar book (sans advice) better myself. And I sure as hell would have proofread it better, too.

Insidious Foes: The Axis Fifth Column and the American Home Front by Francis MacDonnell - This book is predominantly about Nazi espionage, or at least the fear of it. Concerns were rather overblown (in part because the Germans had a bit of success in that arena during World War I), though the author recounts some amusing tales of bungling spies who were caught by the FBI. He also discusses how Franklin Roosevelt, J. Edgar Hoover, and others used spy fears to their political advantage. The fear of Nazi spies in the United States precipitated the "Red Scare" and Cold War paranoia of the following decades (I couldn't help noticing that even 70 years ago, people were ignorantly conflating fascism and communism/socialism just as many conservatives do today*). This book may not interest casual readers, but as a longtime student of World War II, I enjoyed reading about a topic that is barely discussed in most history books.

Turning Points in Rock and Roll by Hank Bordowitz - This is a different rock history book. Instead of weaving everything together in one big mess, Bordowitz selects 20 moments in rock history and describes a thread extending from each. For example, he starts one chapter with the founding of Crawdaddy! magazine as a jumping off point to write about rock magazines and criticism. Although I'm pretty well versed in rock history, I learned a lot from this book about people like Les Paul and Dick Clark. Bordowitz backs up his work with ample source information, something often missing in rock and roll books. Turning Points in Rock and Roll is far from exhaustive, but I'd recommend it to all but the most obsessive rock and roll fans for its fresh perspective.

Current tally: 98 books finished, 86 books acquired

* While I sincerely doubt that Barack Obama is either a socialist or a fascist, I know for certain that he cannot be both.

Baseball & Bicycling

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:22:00 +0000

Holy Cow! by Harry Caray with Bob Verdi - Caray is my all-time favorite broadcaster so when I saw this for $2 at Half Price Books, I couldn't pass it up. It's from 1989, a year that would prove memorable yet ultimately -- inevitably -- disappointing for the Chicago Cubs. Many Cubs fans also may have been disappointed with this book since most of it describes Caray's earlier years broadcasting in St. Louis and for the White Sox, but I enjoyed it. Longtime Chicago Tribune sports columnist Verdi stays true to the sportscaster's inimitable voice; I could easily imagine Caray telling these stories from an adjacent bar stool. I only wish there were more tales about the late-night carousing for which he was famous (the Mayor of Rush Street). This book could have been 100 pages longer without wearing out its welcome.

Tour de France/Tour de Force: A Visual History of the World's Greatest Bicycle Race by James Startt - I got the original hardcover edition of this when it came out and read almost half as evidenced by the bookmark, a lunch receipt from January 2001. This summer I saw the paperback "100-Year Anniversary Edition"* in the bargain bin at the local Borders. I was pretty sure I already had the book, but I couldn't remember. After all, I hadn't looked at it in eight years. Since it was only $1.00, I went ahead and bought it. When I got home, I found the hardcover edition and started reading the softcover where I had left off (conveniently, the page numbers match up). When I finished, I went back through the final pages of the hardcover edition just to see how much Startt had updated (very little, it turns out).** Tour de France/Tour de Force combines a photo-packed coffee table book with a fact-filled historical narrative of the Tour. Unfortunately, its ostensibly chronological organization is flawed. The author highlights a famous champion and then describes the Tours of that champion's era. The confused reader gets redundant chapters essentially telling the same story but with different details included. Aside from that, this book is a decent introduction to the history of the Tour de France with lots of quality photographs, many taken by the author.

Current tally: 94 books finished, 86 books acquired

* The Tour de France started in 1903, but it was not held during the World Wars. Although the "100-Year Anniversary" Tour was in 2003, the 100th Tour has not been run yet.

** For the purposes of Book Challenge 2009, the paperback counts as "acquired" this year but the two editions count as only one "finished."

Imaginary People and Black People

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:45:00 +0000

The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived by Allan Lazar, Dan Karlan & Jeremy Salter - This book looks at the power of fictional characters in society and culture. The authors draw from 17 categories ranging from mythology to literature to television to propaganda. Unfortunately, I think the concept is better than the execution. For starters, I would prefer a list based on something more than the opinions of three American guys and their friends, especially when it comes to ranking the characters from 1 to 101-- it's just too arbitrary. Worse, it is painfully clear that the essays were written by three authors because the tone from essay to essay is jarringly inconsistent (a better editor might have smoothed over those differences in writing style). Their attempts at humor often fall flat or just feel out of place. Plus, most of the essays spend more time telling who the characters are rather than what their influence is, even though most readers should already know most of them. Bottom line: it's an intriguing idea but a disappointing book.

Making Friends With Black People by Nick Adams - Black comedian Adams starts with advice for whites interacting with blacks, but eventually this book develops into a platform for his opinions about race relations, pop culture, and politics. He maintains a humorous and sarcastic tone throughout. I particularly enjoy his lists such as ethnic food "delicacies" and Tom Cruise's variations on Top Gun (e.g., Cocktail is Top Gun in a bar, Days of Thunder is Top Gun on a racetrack). I still don't have any black friends, but this book is pretty funny and often thought-provoking.

Current tally: 92 books finished, 83 books acquired

On the Write Track

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 05:40:00 +0000

This has been a pretty slow year for me business-wise. While I'd like to blame the economy, my own listlessness is the real problem. Maybe reading a few books about writing will give me the kick in the ass I so desperately need. Speaking of kicking...

And Here's the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers on Their Craft by Mike Sacks - I knew I'd like this book, but I didn't think I'd plow through its 337 pages so quickly. To my surprise, I even enjoyed the chapters about writers whose work I have never read or seen. I wish Sacks had spoken with more stand-up comedians and fewer TV writers, but that's just my personal preference. The six interludes of "Quick and Painless Advice for the Aspiring Humor Writer" are very useful; I only wish there were more. And Here's the Kicker has a misleading subtitle, however. Most of Sacks' questions cover what the writers have done rather than how they do it, so the focus isn't really on "their craft." Regardless, I'd recommend this book not only to humor writers but also to fans of comedy in general who like to hear "behind the scenes" stories. Note: See the book's Web site for excerpts and bonus interviews.

Some Writers Deserve to Starve! 31 Brutal Truths About the Publishing Industry by Elaura Niles - This humorous look at getting a book printed imparts many valuable lessons about dealing with agents, publishers, and fellow writers. Aspiring authors will learn a lot, and published authors will laugh or sigh in agreement with many of these "brutal truths." Niles includes many anecdotes from her own experiences and those of others. It's a quick read in an informal format, but the information is pretty good.

100 Ways to Improve Your Writing by Gary Provost - Like Hey, Whipple, Squeeze This, 100 Ways is a book that I purchased years ago when I changed careers. There are a hundred similar books out there, and getting a variety of perspectives about how to write well is a good thing -- as long as one doesn't spend more time reading about writing than actually doing it. Provost's book is as helpful as many others, although parts are quaintly outdated (don't type your final draft on onion skin paper!). Just the fact that it's still in print after 37 years is evidence of its value. Most of these tips are applicable to all writing; don't look here for genre-specific guidance. Also the format is convenient for reading in small chunks a few minutes at a time.

Current tally: 90 books finished, 83 books acquired

Precious Liquids

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:38:00 +0000

Tapped Out: The Coming World Crisis in Water and What We Can Do About It by Paul Simon - In recent years, many books have been published about water issues, but back in 1998 there were few. Since I've read extensively about the subject, I figured I wouldn't learn much from this book. All the same, I was interested in Simon's perspective. Much of "Section I: The Problem" covers familiar territory (alas, the problems haven't gone away), but "Section II: The Answers" is surprisingly informative, particularly the chapter about desalination. As a senator, Simon was a huge proponent of desalination, and this book includes historic quotes from Presidents Eisenhower and Kennedy endorsing the need for desalination research. The U.S. was at the forefront of desalination technology until government funding was cut drastically during the Reagan years, which Simon felt was a serious policy failure. He offers other solutions as well, calling for realistic pricing, reduced pollution, and population control. Despite its age, Tapped Out is still an excellent introductory text about a crisis that has only intensified in the years since.

Return to Thunder Road by Alex Gabbard - Almost two decades before Bruce Springsteen invited Mary into his car, another "Thunder Road" was part of American pop culture.* Robert Mitchum directed and acted in the 1958 movie Thunder Road about running moonshine, plus he wrote and sang the theme song:

Thunder, thunder, over Thunder Road
Thunder was his engine and
White lightnin' was his load.
Moonshine, moonshine, to quench the devil's thirst
The law they swore they'd get him,
But the devil got him first.

This book is a joy to read. Gabbard explains the origins of homemade whiskey and the motivations of the men who risked their lives to deliver the illegal goods across the rural South. Much of Return to Thunder Road is presented in oral history form with extensive recollections from moonshiners, whiskey runners, and ATF agents. The 'shiners talk about the distillery process and how they built and concealed their stills. The drivers describe dozens of heart-racing midnight escapes in souped-up cars with big motors and heavy-duty springs. The U.S. Treasury agents recount raids and chases, along with the frustrations of a never-ending battle. In fact, moonshining came to an end not because of enforcement, but because of new economic opportunities (in the case of legendary Wilkes County, NC, a Holly Springs chicken plant). Gabbard discovers that the movie Thunder Road was likely inspired by the real-life final run of a certain driver. In the book's climax, he leads the reader along the fateful route, interlacing his narrative with the lyrics of the song. Anyone interested in fast cars, whiskey, the South, and/or 20th century American history should enjoy Return to Thunder Road. I'll have to bump the movie to the top of my Netflix queue.

Current tally: 87 books finished, 82 books acquired

* There is a Springsteen connection to this book, not in his "Thunder Road" but in "Cadillac Ranch." When he sings of "Junior Johnson runnin' through the woods of Caroline," he's talking about the famous moonshine runner turned NASCAR racer/owner. Junior and his family are quoted and mentioned many times within these pages.

Squeezing Oil From Planet Rock

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:40:00 +0000

Hey, Whipple, Squeeze This: A Guide to Creating Great Advertising by Luke Sullivan - When I started writing copy, I bought a stack of books about writing and advertising. I suppose nothing reveals what a slacker I am more than admitting that it took me almost half a decade to get around to reading this one (and I haven't touched most of the others, either). Hey, Whipple is an introduction to the world of advertising from the perspective of a "creative" at an agency. Sullivan not only provides examples of great advertising, but he also offers many helpful tips for those attempting to produce such ads. This book won't make you an advertising genius, but it will set you on the right path -- and give you a few laughs, too. Note: I read the second edition; the third edition came out last year and includes new chapters about "new media" and direct-response TV.

Extreme Conditions: Big Oil and the Transformation of Alaska by John Strohmeyer - This book describes the impact of the oil industry on Alaska's government, Natives, environment, and even newspapers as they ride the waves of boom-and-bust from the 1950s to the 1990s. Strohmeyer writes this history in a journalistic style, though he skews a bit to the left in favor of the environment and the citizenry over the oil corporations. Several later chapters describe the Exxon Valdez oil spill and its aftermath, which was recent news when this book was published in 1993. This book has restored my pride in being a Chicagoan because corruption here is nothing compared to Alaska's. Considering the rogue's gallery that has led the state so poorly over the past half-century, the title of Sarah Palin's new memoir, Going Rogue, is incredibly ironic (though she was a mere Wasilla city councilperson when this book came out). Overall, Extreme Conditions is a reasonable, readable recounting of the changes that oil drilling and oil money brought to Alaska.

Life on Planet Rock: From Guns N' Roses to Nirvana, a Backstage Journey through Rock's Most Debauched Decade by Lonn Friend - Although I had never even heard of RIP magazine before (I was never into heavy metal enough to read the magazines), I enjoyed this memoir by its former editor. Friend's anecdotes are often funny and sometimes quite touching; despite their angry, bad-ass reputations, many masters of metal are actually decent guys. Most chapters are about a particular band and Friend's relationship with them. This makes Life on Planet Rock a little jumpy chronologically but otherwise works well. I found the chapter about the frustrations of working as an A&R man for Arista Records very revealing. It made me wonder how much great music we've all missed due to the capricious nature of the music industry. One weakness of Life on Planet Rock is the way Friend dances awkwardly around the edges of his marital problems, as if he couldn't decide whether it belonged in the book. Although his earlier personal life is entertaining and illustrative, it becomes a distraction from the narrative during the RIP years and beyond. As a memoir, this book is less thorough but more engaging and fun to read than David Konow's more historical Bang Your Head. Friend tells some great tales, and anyone who loves or at least grew up with this music should enjoy Life on Planet Rock.

Current tally: 85 books finished, 73 books acquired

The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB's: A Secret History of Jewish Punk

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:12:00 +0000

First, I must apologize to author Steven Lee Beeber: When I saw that you were signing in August at The Book Cellar (the first time I'd heard of the book), I knew I'd want a copy. As an author myself, I know successful signing events are critical to a writer's mental health. I was free that night, and the bookstore is only a 10-minute walk from home. And yet, I did not drag my lazy butt out of the house that evening (I purchased a signed copy there a few days later). So I'm sorry, and I hope all went well (it probably did -- Suzy T. hosts great signings). If I had attended, I probably would have pestered you with stupid questions about the Dictators like, "What is a two tub man?"

Now that I got that out of the way... I love this book! I've been a fan of Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground for 25 years (my first live concert was Reed at the UIC Pavilion in 1986), and the Dictators are one of my favorite recent discoveries, so I was excited to read about them. Plus Beeber tells much more about Blue Oyster Cult (another longtime favorite) in this book about punk than David Konow does in his book about heavy metal. I've never considered myself much of a punk rock fan, but maybe I've been in denial (probably because by the time I came of age in the 1980s, "punk" meant hardcore like Black Flag, early Husker Du, and the Dead Kennedys).

Beeber essentially credits New York Jews with creating and defining the punk movement. Reed is sometimes known as the godfather of punk (an ironically Christian label considering how many Jews it's been assigned to), and the Ramones (at least half Jewish) are arguably the best known American punk band. Beeber also profiles other Jewish New York punkers like the Dictators (5/6 Jewish), Richard Hell, Chris Stein of Blondie, Helen Wheels, et al. Hilly Kristal (owner of the legendary club CBGB's) and most of the first wave of rock critics (including Lenny Kaye and Richard Meltzer) were Jews, too. This book is about more than artists and their music, though. The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB's also describes post-World War II New York Jewishness -- a real education for me, having been raised as a Chicago (area) Catholic.

Anyone interested in punk, particularly the New York scene, must read The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB's. I think Beeber makes a convincing argument for Jews being critical to the rise of punk, but even readers who disagree with that premise will learn a lot about many influential performers and the background that informed their work. In Chapter 1, Beeber notes that another book could be written about Jewish influence in heavy metal (heeby metal?) including KISS, Twisted Sister, Geddy Lee of Rush, Scott Ian of Anthrax, and, of course, the aforementioned Blue Oyster Cult. Mr. Beeber, I would love for you to write that book. If you do, I promise I'll attend your book signing!

Current tally: 82 books finished, 69 books acquired

Answers & Advertising

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 05:51:00 +0000

Can a Guy Get Pregnant? Scientific Answers to Everyday (& Not-So-Everyday) Questions by Bill Sones and Rich Sones, Ph.D. - The Sones brothers write a syndicated column called "Strange But True" which is similar to Cecil Adams' "The Straight Dope". I read a lot of books like this because the format is ideal for reading aloud to my wife as she gets ready for work (a few questions/pages per day). Having sampled this very uneven category, I can say that Can a Guy Get Pregnant? is far better than most. Instead of providing trite responses or mealy-mouthed ramblings, the Sones brothers consult and quote experts to get their answers. The only weak portion of the book is the section about love. Those questions just aren't as scientifically explainable as those about the body, death, and animals. Regardless, if you like this sort of book, Can a Guy Get Pregnant? is one of the best (don't confuse it with Why Do Men Have Nipples?, which is more popular but inferior).

Selling It: The Incredible Shrinking Package and Other Marvels of Modern Marketing by Leslie Ware - The inside back cover of Consumer Reports is my favorite part of the magazine. Each month, the editors put together a page of perplexing advertising and packaging. Examples include garbled English, misleading promises, and oddities like a photograph of a rose bush that appears in several catalogs, each time illustrating a different variety of rose. I was quite excited to buy a compilation of such items, yet this book took seven years to finish. The entries are like bacon -- it tastes great as a garnish, but one can't eat it all the time (and I've tried; eventually the salt and grease overwhelm). Each time I picked up Selling It, I read 5-10 pages, got tired of it, and moved on to something else. Ware's chapter introductions provide some basic consumer education in bullshit detection, but the examples are the best part... even if they don't read well in one sitting.

Current tally: 81 books finished, 69 books acquired

The Waiter, The Bard, And Lots Of Cops

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 00:24:00 +0000

Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter by Steve Dublanica - Dublanica (whose blog I haven't read) humorously describes the challenges and frustrations of waiting tables. Waiter Rant isn't exactly the book I wanted it to be -- I'd rather have less of the author's life story -- but I enjoyed it much more than Debra Ginsberg's Waiting. If you're browsing at the bookstore, at least take the time to read "Appendix A: 40 Tips on How to Be a Good Customer." Not only is this useful advice, but if you like the way it's written, you'll probably enjoy the rest of the book.

Shakespeare: The World As Stage by Bill Bryson - To be honest, I've never had much interest in Shakespeare. I endured Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth in high school freshman English class, and I haven't given him much thought since. But when I saw this book by Bryson, an author I enjoy very much, and found that it was about Shakespeare the person rather than his works, I figured it was worth a shot (its brevity also attracted me). My gamble paid off, as Shakespeare is a fascinating book that examines the playwright's life in the context of late 1500s-early 1600s England. This is not a groundbreaking work (nor does it pretend to be), but Bryson succeeds in making the biography of someone I wouldn't ordinarily care about into something entertaining and worth reading. Note: an updated and illustrated edition is coming out next month.

On the Job: Behind the Stars of the Chicago Police Department by Daniel P. Smith - Despite my negative predisposition toward any book that I could've/should've written myself (my wife is a Chicago police officer), I found On the Job to be pretty insightful. Smith combines a history of the department with plentiful mini-bios of current and former officers. He interviews a broad range of men and women from various units, collecting humorous and heartbreaking stories from throughout the city. On the Job is undoubtedly favorable toward the department, which probably explains why it didn't get much attention from the local media where cop-bashing has been in fashion lately. Although the frustrations of police work are not ignored, the book avoids the jaded cynicism of bloggers like Second City Cop. I'd recommend this book to anyone interested in Chicago history or policing, especially anyone considering a career in the field.

Current tally: 79 books finished, 69 books acquired

My Favorite Talk Show Host

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:01:00 +0000

My wife and I are big fans of Craig Ferguson. We've seen his stand-up show live, we've seen his stand-up DVD, we've seen most of his movies, and I've read his novel, Between the Bridge and the River. During his first year as host of The Late Late Show, I actually missed him on weekends. I've been waiting anxiously for several months since I heard he was putting out a memoir/autobiography, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot.

Any fan of Ferguson will no doubt enjoy this book. It nicely fills in the gaps in his background that he only alludes to on television. If you want to know more about his ex-wives or his years as a punk rock drummer, American on Purpose has the details. And unlike many comedians, he doesn't recycle material in his book. In fact, I was surprised that many of the amusing anecdotes he has told on his show were left out (for example, on TV he tells how he was bored in Winnipeg and shaved his entire body; in the book, he describes shooting a movie in Winnipeg without mentioning the shaving incident).

I read this book aloud to my wife, and (predictably) we both loved it. I wish it was 50-100 pages longer -- his recent years in Hollywood are practically a blur (surprisingly little about The Drew Carey Show considering how long he was on it), and I'd like to know more about The Late Late Show and his citizenship process. I also wish there was an index. One of the things I love about Ferguson is his ability to be simultaneously hilarious and human; that emotional element makes American on Purpose a great book. I laughed plenty, but I couldn't read it aloud without an occasional lump in my throat. The photos are a hoot, too.

Current tally: 76 books finished, 69 books acquired

Black Comedy

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:45:00 +0000

Both of these books are funny, but like many books by comedians, they recycle a lot of material from their stand-up routines. If you like the performer, you'll like the book, but if you know the comedian's material well, you won't find much new here. On the other hand, if you don't like the comedian, it's unlikely that anything in these pages will change your opinion.

Rock This! by Chris Rock - My wife's favorite comedian is Chris Rock so when I saw this in the Borders bargain bin, I had to get it for her. It was a perfect gift because I knew I'd enjoy it as much as she would (although I bought it for her, I'm including it in my "acquired" count since I read it). It's hilarious, as one would expect, but to someone who has seen all of his HBO specials over the years, it sounds awfully familiar. Rock This! is even written in a stand-up-like format with lots of short paragraphs (i.e., pauses between lines).

Yeah, I Said It by Wanda Sykes - I haven't seen as much of Sykes' stand-up, but according to Amazon.com reviewers, this book reuses a lot of jokes, too. At least Yeah, I Said It is formatted more like a regular book. It helps to imagine Sykes' voice while reading (even if you haven't seen her comedy routines, you may have seen her acting on The New Adventures of Old Christine). Yeah, I Said It is occasionally political, so right-wingers will undoubtedly be offended.

Current tally: 75 books finished, 68 books acquired

Creepiest Book Spine Ever?

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:36:00 +0000

A.J. Jacobs (The Year of Living Biblically, The Know-It-All) has a new book called The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment. I didn't look inside because I was terrified by what I saw on the bookshelf:

A Tale of Two Critics

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:55:00 +0000

Two of my favorite pop culture critics are Chuck Klosterman and Joe Queenan. I read books from both this month.

Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas by Chuck Klosterman - This is a collection of essays divided into three categories: Things That Are True, Things That Might Be True, and Something That Isn't True At All. The first section consists of previously published articles covering music, movies, and sports. The middle section contains opinion pieces that appeared mostly in Spin and Esquire. The last part is a short story, perhaps a "feeler" to see how the public would receive Klosterman's then-forthcoming debut novel (the paperback edition includes an excerpt from Downtown Owl). I don't always share Klosterman's opinions and taste -- heck, the guy's favorite band is KISS -- but I enjoy his writing immensely. He even makes basketball sound interesting, and I hate basketball. My only complaint about IV is the publisher's decision to include extra material in the paperback edition. This is a big f-you to everyone who paid more for the hardcover edition. Out of spite, I sat in a Borders this week and read all the new essays, which are mostly in the Things That Might Be True section. As much as I like Klosterman, I'm not going to buy the same book twice. Note: I wouldn't expect anyone to actually buy the now-obsolete hardcover edition, but I included it below anyway.

Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon: Joe Queenan's America by Joe Queenan - As a longtime cultural snob, Queenan decides to immerse himself in the worst our country has to offer for an entire year. He goes to Broadway shows like Cats. He listens to Michael Bolton and Kenny G. He reads books by Joan Collins and V.C. Andrews. He watches movies starring Adam Sandler and Demi Moore. He dines at Sizzler and the Olive Garden. He visits Las Vegas and Branson. And of course, he skewers them all with the mischievous, sarcastic wit I've come to expect from Queenan. But suddenly, he starts to like all this crap. Instead of recoiling, he begins seeking out and reveling in the pop cultural junk of the masses. Although these are easy targets, Queenan's wicked critiques are hilarious. As a book, however, Red Lobster isn't great. The plot is weak and predictable. The copyright page reveals that several chapters were originally magazine articles, which explains the book's patched-together construction. And in the end, it's a lot of snark without much insight about what makes something bad or good.

This month I've been trying to clean up DJWriter World Headquarters. About 90% of the books I've read and reviewed this year are still in my office, as well as stacks from the past several years (books that I reviewed as well as books that I meant to review). It has reached the point where I can barely fit between the piles, and one of the cats is always knocking them down. Perhaps the best way to sum up these two books is to say that I enjoyed reading both, but Chuck Klosterman IV is going on a bookshelf while Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon is going in a box for my next visit to an used book store.

Current tally: 73 books finished, 65 books acquired

100 Reasons to Hate Your Country

noreply@blogger.com (David Johnsen) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:40:00 +0000

100 Ways America Is Screwing Up The World by John Tirman - I didn't like this book. If not for my New Years resolution, I would have given up halfway through (it took me two months to finish). Don't get me wrong -- for the most part, I agree with the author -- but this book disappointed me. For starters, Tirman apparently doesn't understand verb tenses. Although one can make a case for lingering impact, it is ridiculous to recount our country's every post-World War II sin as "ways America is screwing up the world." Going back as far as the Reagan administration -- a quarter of a century ago -- is reasonable since that ideology still holds sway (besides, I love to read criticism of "Saint Ronnie"), but CIA shenanigans in 1954 Guatemala? That seems like a stretch in 2006 (when 100 Ways was published). Tirman even repeatedly dredges up the extermination of Native Americans in the 19th century, hardly relevant in the present tense.

A bigger problem is that even after reaching back to the 1950s, the author doesn't have enough good topics. The 100 ways overlap, and sometimes Tirman fails to convincingly explain how certain domestic issues are meaningful abroad. A few of his ideas are weak or peculiar (oh no, America is fomenting anti-smoking laws worldwide!). Especially toward the end, Tirman's case devolves into curmudgeonly whining. Liberal whining can be just as annoying as conservative whining (though not as mean-spirited).

I presume this book was inspired by the right-wing screed about 100 people (liberals, naturally) who are screwing up America. Unlike that book, 100 Ways is not a complete waste of time. Although a less informed reader probably would enjoy it more, even a jaded leftist like me learned a few things, such as how the NRA helped defeat anti-gun laws in Brazil. The trouble is that "answer books" are like "answer songs"; they rarely get as much attention as their inspiration. Tirman probably could have written a better book without the "100 ways" gimmick.

I suppose it works as a mediocre introduction to "why they hate us." In that sense, the worst thing about 100 Ways is that the people who need to read it the most are precisely those who will ignore it. I should send my copy to my Fox News-addicted grandmother.

Current tally: 71 books finished, 65 books acquired